Where have you been? Part 2

A lot can happen in 5 years, and a lot did. Met a great guy, got married, had a baby, and moved a couple times within Maryland. Also got a few new positions and took a few pay cuts. Life doesn't always move in a straight line, but it does continue forward. Life is good but it's also stressing. But that really is life. The bad helps to appreciate the good, and being a mature adult means enduring and overcoming the bad, which actually makes the good, better. I think that's the only way a woman could choose or even want to endure childbirth more than once ;-)

Where have you been??

So I'm still at the same job, having come a long way and still going forward. Thank You God for sustaining me, for giving me strength, for always being there for me and here with me. I want to know You more, and to love You deeper. In Jesus' Name, AMEN

Herein lies my fate?

I wrote a 1-page answer to the questions "Pass or fail?" and "Have you done enough [to pass probation]?". I decided that I did not do enough, and I fail as a result. I talked about how I have made improvements, how I have shown that I am teachable and can apply what I have learned. But my downfall is that I cannot relax and talk to my supervisor. I don't think my super is wanting to "continue our relationship [as director and manager]", as it was put. The way it was put, my answer was either to be a plea for my job by tooting my own horn, or I could focus on the "fail" aspect. I did both but deduced that a communication problem is not going to improve much more if it hasn't even started improving after an 8-month probatoinary period. I figured that my boss saw this in a similar way by wanting to "mull over" my answer. Of course, I will continue to do my work because I do still have the position. I have ro keep reminding myself that I am not a failure, and that regardless of what my boss wanted me to put, I did not fail myself. One of the staff told me that some of them had expressed to her that I was appreciated and that I was making a difference. But honestly, I am not fighting for my position, and I don't want to waste anyone's time or hold a position that could be done better by someone else (paraphrased from the answer statement". I decided to be honest and forthcoming. I am very sad about this and I am praying that this leads to something that I can live with (and on).