Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I cut all my hair off

I told someone today that "I had a dead animal on my head that was trying to be a ponytail." I had been thinking about going natural, but I was scared. I had "long" and relaxed hair since elementary school. I feel like I stepped out on faith by cutting my hair off because I wasn't even sure what it was going to look like when the guy was finished. I walked in a random barber shop called "Harlem Blues", and there were 5 guys waiting to get their hair cut, plus 1 guy in the chair. I sat in the front of the shop, where all the action was taking place (including the barbering). There were 3 (later, 4) grown-ass men arguing about corruption in the police department. Men and women are so different, but so the same. It reminded me how wresting is nothing but a male soap opera interjected with staged wrestling matches. But I digress.

The guy cut my hair so it looked like it was still kinda pulled back. But then I had to take a shower to get all of the tiny hairs offa me, and I washed my hair, and it was wonderful! I felt like a woman in an African jungle while taking a shower in a tub. My hair 'froed right up after I put some carrot creme and vitamin oil in it (the same stuff I was using before).



I stayed up until midnight because I didn't want to sleep on my hair. What if I smashed it all night? But my hair is pretty resiliant, and I have leave-in conditioner to spray it to bring it back to life to I can comb it out and then pat it back down.

I actually got compliments on my hair! People said that my head is a good shape for a short cut, that it makes me look more sophisticaed, and they liked it better than the ponytail. Well, thank God cuz that mess in a garbage that's gonna be picked up tomorrow morning. Now I gotta get a new pair of glasses to compliment the new 'do. I am glad that I decided to do something outrageous. I got one funny look, but I am not surprised by it. Meanwhile, she rocks straight weave after weave and thick acrylic fingernails. Yeah, I have a million grey hairs, but I am not sure that I want to color it because that is more maintenance. No, I just want to be free. This is me, and I love me the way that I am, the way that I was made. My natural hair texture is wonderful, and so is the color.

And anyone who doesn't like it... kick rocks! ROCKS, I SAID!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day

There is a feeling in me that could be described as, "Yeah, right!" But that is followed by remembering the love of God. And I realize that I too easily brush off God's love, which is harder for me to "feel", due to a want for the love of someone I can see and hear say to me, "I love you" and mean it. And knows what it means to love someone, and to know that it is a voluntary commitment. The same is true with anyone, and even with God. We could, at any time, walk away and abandon our decision to love someone.

It is my prayer that I will become filled with the love that I have instead of looking back to love lost. If I don't have it, then maybe I don't need it.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Why good works isn't enough to get you into heaven

For the sake of being dramatic, let's say I am in Detroit, and I successfully kill 3 people. Let's also say that "they had it coming", but that my reasons won't hold in a court of law. While I'm on the run, I settle in a little town outside of Reno, where I start a crusade to rescue prostitutes and help get them education and resources to support themselves respectably. I would think that I would be revered as a person of good character by those who knew me in this new locale. Unfortunately, my notoriety brings a lot of unwanted attention. I mean, I should be laying low. But I wanted to make up for what I did by making the lives of others better. But the people of Detroit know how to hold a grudge, and they want justice. My do-gooding while not facing up to my crimes in Detroit will largely go unnoticed when pictures of the deceased are shown in the courtroom, during the testimonies of witnesses who recount each gash and slice (I told you, they had it coming!), and when the families of the slain say how wonderful were their loved ones (obviously, they didn't know 'em like I knew 'em). But I did do it, and my insanity plea wasn't holding water, cuz I killed 3 people. But what happened was after I killed the first guy, I had to kill the second and third guy lest they try to kill me. Which they did, after I started trying to kill them. But I digress. So, in the end, I'm found guilty and I go to jail. For a long time. You might even see me on MSNBC's Lockup series where they interview inmates to get a glimpse of what the insides of the country's roughest prisons. Or maybe not, cuz I'm not actually there. I digress again.

My good works while on the run didn't save me from the judgement of the crimes that I committed. If the crimes and the good works were put on a scale against each other, the crimes wouldn't even lift off the ground. It reminds me of when Chris Rock talked of the Day of Judgement, "Hey God, I killed a bunch of kids. But I ate right!", which is a poke at people who don't eat pork for religious reasons. The real point is that committing a sin can't be washed away but merely not committing sin. When we sin against God by breaking His Commandments, there is nothing we can do to make it right in and of ourselves. There aren't enough "I'm sorry's" to make up for lying, stealing, jealousy, lusting for sex, having hate in our hearts, for dishonoring our parents/families, for not putting God first and loving only Him as the Lord our God, for loving money/material things, for not keeping the Sabbath holy. It is what God said and still says.

But even in the beginning, God gave His people a way to seek forgiveness for consciously committing sin by way of a "guilt offering".

Leviticus 6
"1The LORD spoke to Moses, saying, 2"If anyone sins and commits a breach of faith against the LORD by deceiving his neighbor in a matter of deposit or security, or through robbery, or if he has oppressed his neighbor 3or has found something lost and lied about it, swearing falsely—in any of all the things that people do and sin thereby— 4if he has sinned and has realized his guilt and will restore what he took by robbery or what he got by oppression or the deposit that was committed to him or the lost thing that he found 5or anything about which he has sworn falsely, he shall restore it in full and shall add a fifth to it, and give it to him to whom it belongs on the day he realizes his guilt. 6And he shall bring to the priest as his compensation to the LORD a ram without blemish out of the flock, or its equivalent for a guilt offering. 7And the priest shall make atonement for him before the LORD, and he shall be forgiven for any of the things that one may do and thereby become guilty."

Notice that God says when we sin and realize our guilt, we are to restore what we stole/"found" (plus interest) ON THE DAY we realize our guilt. This piggybacks on the ideas that we are to not let the sun go down on anger, and we are to put down an offering to God in order to first reconcile with someone whom we are having a problem. We have to do it kind of immediately. AND THEN he shall bring the guilt offering. AND THEN the priest makes the atonement (reconciliation or an instance of reconciliation between God and humans). The order is important to God, and is invalid if any step is missing or done out of sequence.

Leviticus 7:1-2
1"This is the law of the guilt offering. It is most holy. 2In the place where they kill the burnt offering they shall kill the guilt offering, and its blood shall be thrown against the sides of the altar."

In the Bible, blood symbolizes life. The sacrifice has to be an unblemished animal, and the blood is "thrown against the sides of the altar". The blood of Jesus covers the sins of those who believe in Him. It seems to me that the blood from this unblemished animal, which foreshadows Jesus, being thrown from containers against the walls could symbolize the blood of Jesus on the inside of us, in the place where we condemn ourselves and remember our sins. During the days of the Old Testament writings, and when living under the law, sacrifices were made continually. I sin, I offer a sacrifice. I can't even talk to God directly, so I have to ask and receive forgiveness by way of a high priest. And "it is most holy". With the blood of Jesus, an unblemished Lamb of God, who knew no sin, whose sacrifice for our sins is most pleasing to God, the sacrifice is made once and for all. We have a closer relationship with God because we can come directly to Him, but can only do so because God sees the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, The Most High Priest, applied to the inside of me.